In My Head
by brindled soul
Summary: It has been a year. Grissom can't sleep, Sara goes for a dive... and somehow things are going to come back together... thats all i know. Chapter 3 is now up!
1. Chapter 1

_So I was in the shower after watching CSI and this just kinda came to me. I hate it when stories come to me this late at night but I was still upset after Sara's departure so I opted to run with it while I was still awake…. Please tell me what you think. I want to know if I should keep going with this in my spare time or not… I sorta want to…_

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**"IN MY HEAD"**

"Damnit all!" he cried as he smacked his head hard as possible against his pillows. He sighed. 'Sara…' he whispered softly as he tried to lull himself back to sleep.

Sara's face had just plagued another night of his sleep, not that he minded, but it was hard not having her there to make it better. She had been gone for a year now and Grissom was starting to desperately long for her. He stared at the ceiling until eventually the need for sleep overpowered him and he let her take over his dreams once again in an attempt to regain his sanity.

She sighed and wiped a tear from her face. In her hands sat the picture of her and Gil after he asked her to marry him. They had gone out to dinner and ended up taking pictures. 'I think that was perhaps the happiest day in my life' she thought to herself. 'Damn to I miss him…' She had been in Massachusetts for a year now and loved it, everything about it: the peace, the serenity, the beach, the way she finally regained herself. She'd bought a house in Cape Cod off of an old college friend and made it her own. It was heaven… Even at 8 am it was still heaven. She threw on her swimsuit and sweat pants and went for a run. The beach was her favorite place to run… just something about the sand under my sneakers she always said.

Grissom's face slowly slid back into her mind as she remembered the way he would kiss her after she would come back from an errand or one of her few runs.

"_I thought of just your face… relaxed and floating into space. I want to swim away but don't know how… sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean…" _her iPod sang to her as she stripped her outer clothes and sneakers.

"Into the ocean end it all… into the ocean end it all… into the ocean end it all…" 

She ran and dove into the ocean like she would dive into Grissom's arms after making love, only coming up for air and to smile as she made up her mind to go back to Vegas because she just couldn't take it anymore.

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Comments are fuel. Please let me know if this spontaneous story is worth pursueing.. id love to see where this can go. THANKS!

Song is "Into the Ocean" by Blue October


	2. Chapter 2

Happy Turkey Day! I wrote another chapter! So I don't intend this to be a music fic, therefore I am limiting the music somewhat, meaning I only put what I want. LOL OK, well, I got some spare time and here's what came out of it. Enjoy!

(Oh, and the M rating is for future chapters. I never know where m mind will go so I did it to be safe.) And this story may bein need of a Beta. If anyone would like to help id be happy to have it.

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A knock on the door was what startled Gil out of his somewhat reverie. He slid himself out of bed and briskly into some clothes and headed to the door. A familiar and comforting face met him at the door.

"Hi Gil, How're you holding up?" Brass asked with a smile.

"I've been better, but not to bad to put it nicely."

"Feel like talking or anything? I mean, I brought the perfect extra company." Jim held up a bottle of aged Jimmy Dean whiskey with a smile.

"Alright, sure..." Gil chuckled and went to the cupboard in the kitchen to grab two glasses.

Brass walked over to Grissom's stereo and turned it on. The sweet sound on Earth Wind & Fire lightly filled the room.

"Nice music." He said

"Thanks… I feel bad saying this, but I had to take Sara's stuff out of there before I went insane. That's just whatever I found after I did. It was driving me mad to hear her Colbie Caillet and Sara McLachlan when I turned that thing on." He sighed

"Who knew the mastermind of Mozart knew exactly what his girlfriend listens to, never mind let her use his precious stereo." Brass laughed and sat back down to pour the whiskey.

"Actually Jim, she's my fiancée. I asked her to marry me a few months before she left. The music is one of her escapes; it's a common thing in this house." Almost losing Sara made me realize exactly how complete she makes me and my life. I don't know how much longer I can take this."

"Wow. Congrats Gil. I knew you two have been together for a while but wow. You do make a great team. But Gil, you can get through this. You know what she needs and you are letting her have it. What you are doing by letting her go is helping her as far as we know. You just have to stick it out. Sara is like my second daughter and if I know her like I think I do, she will come back. She loves you too much."

"'As far as we know.' Yeah, that's what scares me. She's in my dreams every night whether I like it or not. Ugh, I know she will come back, the question is when?" Gil stared blankly into his now empty glass and watched as Jim poured him another glass.

"Gil, she'll come back when she's ready. Leave it at that. The dreams will settle down and the more you let people help you and the more other things you find to do, the faster the time will pass. C'mon, let's go out for a walk. See, something to do already." Jim smiled and waggled his eyebrows at Grissom.

Grissom let out a sigh of defeat and got up to go for a walk with Brass. "Yeah, I guess. For once, I will say: Jim brass, you win."

"That's a first" Brass chuckled and the two headed outside.

Earth Wind & Fire still filled the room as they left…

"_That's the way, of the world…."_

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Her iPod was what kept her safe on a flight, especially this one. It was the red-eye from Boston to Vegas after all. It was 12:00a.m and the plane had already taken off, she made it to the airport just in time; Damn her alarm clock. She fidgeted a bit in her seat as she saw the flight attendants get up, and then realized it was only for drinks. So much for eliminating her fears; she always was a little afraid of plane rides. The voice of Colbie Caillet flooding into her ears sent her into a spin…

"_Midnight bottle take me, come with me, my memories and everything come back to me"_

Sara jumped as the flight attendant came up beside her.

"Peanuts ma'am?" she asked

"Umm… No thanks." Sara hates peanuts most of the time.

"Would you like anything to drink?" she asked

"Yes. Vodka and some orange juice please."

"Ok, that will be five dollars please and I will need to see your ID." She said as she eyes Sara with easy eyes.

Sara handed her the money and showed her ID. It made her laugh inside and slightly relieved that she still got carded every once and a while. She settled back into her chair and once again let Colbie take over…

"_I've got a midnight bottle, gonna drink it down  
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before  
When everything felt so right  
If only for tonight I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain  
From all these feelings driving me insane  
When I'm with you and everything's all right if only for tonight  
Got a midnight bottle drifting off into the candlelight where I can find you in your time  
A midnight bottle I forgot how good it felt to be in a dream just like you had me  
Cuz lately I've been stumbling feels like I'm recovering"_

The woman came back about five minutes later with the drink and Sara took a long sip as she walked away. She let the alcohol coast down her throat and waited for it to settle into her blood stream. She just wanted a little alcohol, nothing major. She felt herself relax as she steadily sipped the tart, potent liquid and let her head fall against the seat and her mind float off.

"_I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down  
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before  
When everything felt so right  
If only for tonight I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain  
From all these feelings driving me insane  
When I'm with you and everything's all right if only for tonight  
If only for tonight, if only for tonight, if only for tonight"_

Sara put her empty drink down and let herself doze off for the remainder or the flight, only to be soon dreaming of the man she needs so.

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Reviews are oxygen at this point. Lemme know what you think! Please and thanks! Hope you all had a great holiday!

Music is: "Way of the World" by Earth Wind & Fire and "Midnight Bottle" by Colbie Caillet


	3. Chapter 3

Howdy guys. Sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. With getting all my college applications turned in and work life has just been crazy. This one is rather short considering the time I had to write it but please read and enjoy. With the holidays coming up I will be sure to write more.

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The flight had just landed and Sara was starting to become alert again. She felt a light tap on her shoulder. 

"The flight has landed miss; time to wake up."

Sara startled awake and saw the flight attendants shy smile.

"Oh, thank you. I must have been more tired that I thought." She returned the smile and got up to retrieve her things.

As Sara stepped into Las Vegas McCarran Regional Airport the first things that hit her mind was coffee. She found the nearest shop and ordered the strongest thing they had. Sara headed down to the baggage claim area to find her things and rent a car. Hertz seemed like a good choice so she headed into the line.

"What type of car are you looking for ma'am?"

"Well, what costs the least?" she asked

"We have a few Mustangs in the lot we need to rent out."

The red Mustang from the desert flew into her mind and she panicked slightly.

"Umm, how about something else?"

"Ok, no pretty Mustang for the pretty lady." The man smiled at his attempt to flirt.

"Ok, we have a Denali I can rent you for $600 for the week."

"That'll work." Sara smiled at the familiarity of the car. She slipped the man her credit card being very sure to show off Grissom's ring as she did so.

"Here ya go ma'am. Enjoy your stay in Vegas."

"Vegas is home." Sara flashed him a smile and headed out into the car lot.

When she got into the car she pulled out and into the airport road. A longing hit her as she drove so she pulled into one of the vacant area lots and pulled out her cell phone.; carefully seeking out Grissom in her phone book.

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When Gil and Jim had finished their walk Gil headed back inside as Jim left to go back to the station. The phone was ringing as he walked inside and he rushed to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello Gilbert."

The memories of the moments before Sara was kidnapped and the surveillance tape flooded through his head, even when all he wanted to focus on was the sound of her voice.

"Gil?"

"Hi Sara… Wow. How are you? I miss you baby." The sweet sound of her voice was music to his ears. He just missed it so much.

"Yeah, I know. I've been really good, things are much better. And I was thinking about coming back home… to you."

"Really? When? I mean, have you buried those ghosts? Are you sure you are ready to come home? I don't want you to if you aren't…"

"Gil, I'm ready. I miss you too much to not be. I'm in Vegas already but I have a few things I need to straighten out first." She sighed. She was a lying; she didn't have anything to do but him. Yet she just wanted to make sure she was doing the right thing.

"Ok. That's fine. Sara, I've waited these long months for you. I can wait a few more days. I think."

They both laughed and Grissom was soon reminded by his watch that it was time to head back to work.

"I have to go baby. I hate to but work calls."

"I know. It usually does. I love you. Have a good night. See you soon I hope." She sighed and let her mind go.

"I love you too. And yes, I hope too."

They hung up their respective phones and both fell into the reveries of memories and the 'I love you's' they hadn't shared in what felt like forever.

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Reviews are very encouraging. :) Thanks! Hope ya'll are having a great holiday season. 


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